Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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