The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
