I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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