i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
