what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
