i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
