apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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