the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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