So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
