This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
