i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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