how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
did i walk over a car last night?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
