so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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