When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
