Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
