Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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