they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
