so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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