I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
ttyl tear gas
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
