Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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