So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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