Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
