She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
being pregnant is like rehab
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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