I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
