If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
