I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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