Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
