Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
