how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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