did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
