I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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