So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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