dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
