it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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