Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
