I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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