the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
