i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
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you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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