My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Sponge bath it is.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I am mentally ready for anal.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
