im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
