**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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