this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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