I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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