The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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