and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
