shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
