I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
