i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
