I have demons in me.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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