i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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