my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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