remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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