Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
