i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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