I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think people are normalizing furries
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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