just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
