I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
