i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
