I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
