is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
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Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
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Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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