omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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