jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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