so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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