Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
