Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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