We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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