Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
